The Pursuit of Berating Your Neighbor
I was at a ballgame recently and had the misfortune of overhearing a conversation which changed my opinion of one person forever. I heard another mother berating someone right in front of the person she was talking about. Frankly, I was stunned. This woman is a mother of two children and supposedly an honest church-going woman but yet neither God nor the Devil himself could hold this woman's tongue which brought me to my topic of the day.
I've never quite understood the compelling need many people feel to talk behind a person's back. If I have something to say, I usually say it which is why I used to find myself in a predicament half the time. However, I now know the only thing worse than someone outspoken, or worse, two-faced is the bold foolishness of talking about someone in front of them in order to belittle them to another person. Children do this all of the time to other children. Now, there's no doubt in my mind where they get this grand trait; from their mothers and fathers. If I'm stepping on toes, then I'm talking to you. Believe me, I've crooked my finger back at myself on the outspoken podium more than once or twice and now try to be quiet altogether so I don't hurt anyone's feelings.
Unfortunately, in many areas the order of the day is usually to smile in someone's face and talk quickly behind their back when they look away. This is common in the south and may be common in the north, I don't know. However, recently my jaw dropped as one mother verbally slaughtered another mom in front of several people within earshot of the woman she was slandering. It was only a short sentence but she intended for several people to hear it including the mom she was talking about. It brings me to a very important question. Why would someone do this to another person in public? I came to one answer—jealousy. Then, I came to another solution—mean-spirited. And then another, lack of self confidence and then another which is an explanation which could rhyme with the word witch. I must admit anger compelled me to think about it but another motive inspired me to write on the subject.
What good purpose does it serve to berate your neighbor or someone you know in public? What can one possibly hope to gain? What can be done to educate people on the power of self control when it comes to talking about another human being? The answer is NOTHING. No one can accomplish anything by talking about another person as it serves no fantastic purpose and nothing can be done to educate someone who does this because ignorance is bliss. Frankly, there's a lot of ignorance when you look at this universal problem.
I wanted to give everyone who reads this article something to think about when they go to a ballgame or attend choir practice at their local Baptist church. What you say can affect the lives of other people. It can certainly draw attention to the flaws of others. However, when you speak poorly of another person, the joke is really on you. People are able to see you for who you really are and often, if you are cruelly berating another person, then you are seen as a mean-spirited person or a gossip. You don't really want a reputation such as this and you don't want your children to grow up viewing you as the man or woman who found the negative aspects of everyone they knew? Or do you? If you're more prone to speak negatively about other people, then you may want your children to learn this trait from you.
My mother-in-law once told me it only matters what goes on in your household once you go home and shut the door. Thankfully, I believe this because I for one don't care about the local gossip columnists in our home town. However, it bothers me when children are the targets. My children have been hurt by gossip on occasion as I'm sure yours have. It's part of growing up. Why does it have to be? Adults allow it and often are the reason for it.
Wouldn't it be nice if adults acted like adults and refused to act like children in the broad scheme of things? What would the world be like if women spent more time outside enjoying the world rather than on the phone for hours gossiping? What would people talk about if they didn't have someone to talk about? It's likely the topics would be much more intellectual and far more uplifting than the conversations which tear someone else down.
While this is a topic many would view insignificant, I encourage you to take a look around at some of the children we are raising as a society. Are they calling other children names? Do they make up lies about their friends because little Tommy wears the finest clothes and little Maria is the most athletic girl in the school? If they do, here's the hard truth dealt to you in a big way. These kids get it honest and if mommy and daddy are hard core gossips, then little Bethany and little Scottie will be too.
I challenge everyone who reads this article to try their best to make the world a better place by stopping the pursuit of belittling and berating your neighbor. Try not to tear down the lives and happiness of others. When you do it, little eyes and little ears are often nearby and if mom or dad can berate the neighbor, there's nothing wrong with little Timmy doing it too. Until little Timmy is the one with the target on his back.
